Thursday, January 28, 2010

Where do I Begin?

Well this is my very first post and im not exactly sure what to write. But I guess I should maybe expound on why I created the blog in the first place. I'm a thinker, most of the time, I think waaaayyy too much, so im hoping that this will be a way that I can free up some space in my brain for the more important things in life. Im hoping that my blog will help others more than it helps me, because after all, life is not simply about me. I may use this as a journal of sorts, devotional of sorts, meditation of sorts, lol, a little bit of everything.

What am I feeling at this very moment? Slightly overwhelmed yet hopeful. Im currently trying to finish out my last semester of law school and it's proving harder than I thought to stay motivated to complete the work that I need to complete. I have been thinking about and focusing on things that probably should not be able to occupy my thoughts because they are indeed out of my control. I have no clue what area I want to practice, what is to come of me after graduation May 21, what location geographically I should focus my energy... a lot of unanswered questions, but I know it's all in God's hands and I need to let it stay there.

Romance? Hmmmm, what is that again? lol. I have also spent waaaaayyy too much time on considering the possibilities and have come to the conclusion that being in a relationship at this season in my life is not in the master plan. I dont want this blog to become one of complaining about how singleness sucks, but maybe one moreso about how in your singleness press forward to accomplish the things in life that are set before you. Enjoy life (I need to take this advice). Part of my battle in this whole area is that unlike others, I've never envisioned myself to be a professional, never envisioned being a lawyer, the only thing I've ever had a strong desire to do/have is to have a family and get married, yet my pathway seems to take me farther and farther away from that. I find it extremely frustrating, but I know in my heart God's got it all under control, but as a human, I still try to figure out how this will happen (which is definitely something I shouldnt worry about). :-(

So im constantly trying to refocus, and think on the things that are before me. I've always been the girl who wouldnt try new things, too afraid to step out of my box, but I think im about ready to try new things. Last week I ate Greek/Lebanese food for the first time, and yesterday I ate Indian food, for the very first time. I find that I am finding happiness in the little things in life now. I'm ready to experience life, but im ready to experience it the right way. Im not a wild child, I am very careful about where I go and who I associate myself with, and am very serious about my faith. Anyways I hope this gives a small picture of me, and you will see little pieces of me displayed through my writing.

God Bless You, and God Loves You

2 comments:

  1. Hey Girl,

    That was a great post especially about the relationship part. I too need to let God be God and let him have complete control of my life, especially my love life. I feel you on the fact that you never saw yourself as a professional, but just wanted to have a family and get married, I too envisioned that same thing for my life. I understand the feeling of you're getting farther and farther away from that dream, but in my time with God I think that it what he is wanting me to do. I truly believe he wants me to focus on other aspects of my life and my womanhood and grow. He is so good and his master plan for our lives is so much bigger and better than what we could ever envision and plan on our own.

    Love you, I guess I too needed to vent because this comment is a lot longer than I inteneded. lol

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  2. Yeah, im noticing that as well. It's just so hard to pull away. I always try and convince myself and truly believe that what He has for me is best but I get in my own way and instead of letting things fall as they may, I try and fix them (and maybe, just maybe they arent supposed to be fixed).

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