Fortunately or unfortunately, im one of those people that try to see the best in a person even if they do me wrong over and over again. However, after a while, just with anyone, I do have a threshold and I tend to get fed up with people and their vices. No I am not perfect, neither am I God. I am not spotless or sinless. I do acknowledge that I have had the bad habit of placing far too much of my trust in people. Those people could be my family or those people could be my close friends.
I hold on so tightly that when it's time to Let Go and Let God, I have a serious problem with it. Sometimes people can be unhealthy for you, and down in your heart you know it, but you still deal with them and let them stay in your life for one reason or another instead of just letting things be, letting God do His thing, and let things work out as they may.
I am learning painfully OVER and OVER again, that people...are just people. They will hurt you, they will disappoint you, they will always misunderstand you. The only one that should ever have your complete trust, is God. And definitely trust His guidance.
I used to have the belief that when you were in a relationship or married that you should trust your spouse completely, but part of me is starting to feel that absolutely NO ONE is worth that type of trust. Dont put anything pass anyone because NO ONE is perfect, that way when the Glitter starts to fade, and you see their true colors, you aren't quite so surprised, Why? Because they are just people and people will be people.
Evangelical Microaggressions
3 years ago
Excellent post! I learned this lesson the hard way through a few friendships and relationships turned sour. I'm not the most righteous person, but I do live my life in a very respectful way, constantly taking into account other's feelings before I act.
ReplyDeleteMy main request (implicit) of any friend or girlfriend is that he/she treat me like they would like to be treated. And...I can't imagine anyone who likes to be wronged. Nevertheless, even this request has proven to be too large for many, and I'm repeatedly stunned by the actions of others (note: I'm not perfect and have had my share of transgressions as well). Man/Woman is fallible, and like you said, some disappoint is to be expected.
But...we're all God's children and He knows and realizes our limitations and shortcomings. He doesn't expect me, you, or any relationship we enter to be perfect or void of disappointment, so why should we? What else in life is perfect? One's schooling? No. One's job? Likely not. One's diet? No. The list goes on and on. It's very difficult for me, at times, to swallow this reality, but it's something I'm learning to do better day-by-day. (continued...)
Still, I think there is a difference between a slight transgression or breakdown in trust ...and... complete disrespect/disregard for the welfare and feelings of others. I put my utmost faith in God and try not to be concerned with the "unreasonable" (at least in my mind) imperfections of human beings, but that doesn't take away the fact that those imperfections still have the power to disappoint me.
ReplyDeleteTrust is such a powerful thing. Our trust in God should remain unflinching - He has the power to do all, and has set a path for us all. Our trust in people we love, or who we deem close friends, should be able - in my opinion - to near a steady, comfortable level (albeit, not unflinching). Without a comfortable degree of trust, most relationships, friendships, business partnerships, ownerships, etc. will fail. "People will be people," yes, but our trust in those people - when necessary - is still important to our survival and progression as beings.
Going forward, I will trust in God to provide me with the patience and wherewithal to continue to trust others (who are worthy of being trusted) despite past breakdowns in trust in other relationships, friendships, etc. that have affected me for the worst.
Again, kudos for this post!
I agree with what you're seeing 100%. What I was getting at in a nutshell, is saying that it is very hard to maintain that whole "unflinching" trust with people when they seem to misunderstand you or understand but not act like it. You just get disappointed over and over again until ultimately you just dont care to try anymore.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post....It is crazy the amount of trust we put in others. I think realizing that I couldn't trust 100% in key people in my life was the hardest thing for me to grasp. It was especially hard to grasp within marriage...I always questioned, "why do I have to protect myself...that is my husband?"
ReplyDeleteFor me to reflect and see that at times my trust in people sometimes surpassed even my trust in God. Why? I really couldn't tell you...
Hello my anonymous reader. ;-) I think as humans there are places in us that want to trust someone completely. We want that security to know that it is fine to let our guards down. And I will tell you this much, your Husband SHOULD be one of those people that you should be able to let your guard down with and not feel like you need to protect yourself. After all, this is a lifelong commitment. Have you tried telling him this? Anywho, in those moments definitely remember who loved you first and that is Jesus Christ. He is there for you and will always be. We just have problems with accepting His love for what it is because we cannot tangibly see Him or feel Him with us. Just keep your marriage in prayer, which im sure you do. Become secure in God, pray for your Husband's relationship with God, and im sure as that gets better, he will become that man that you can trust the way you want to.
ReplyDeleteThis blog was simply written to state, dont expect perfection from ANYONE. We all make mistakes, some of them habitual. But let God do His work and you do your part, and things will work out as they should.